Wednesday, July 9, 2014

conversations with major: I'm back!

Here's Major! I'm back to normal!
Dude, you were never normal. But you sure seem better.
But it's fun to tell everybody "Here's Major!" I should be a star.
Stop saying that, it's creepy
No, it's fun to feel good again.
But you've never seen "The Shining" 
I've seen the sun shining. Oh, the moon too. 
No, it's a scary movie, not for horses. The bad guy says "Here's Johnny!", plus there's a big old hotel, and haunting and ghosts and snow...
You're right, I can't see that. Snow is scary! Too cold for me. 
Sigh. Let's go tack up.

OK, chubby buddy! Let's go.
I'm Major.
I know, but that girth is pretty tight after time off.
Not my fault.
I know. Let's go for an easy ride and work some off.
OK, can we go this way?

What's that awful noise?!
Stop jumping around. 
Screaming eels!
It's not screaming eels. It's screaming babies. They must be having a party in that house over there. 
That party does not sound like fun. 
I agree Major. Let's go. 

Woods are lovely, dark and deep. No. These woods are dry, hot and full of snakes.
a bit warm for the ride

Down the trail, down the trail, we're going down the trail. Argh! Smelly thing! Dead thing! Scary, turn around!
Easy dude, just stand here. Yuck. Dead bloated deer. Poor thing must have been hit by a car. But we're going this way.
Yuck, no, have to walk right next to it!
OK, I'm not fighting this battle right now. I'll get off and walk you by.
Very suspicious, something killed it, could still be here!
No, you're fine.
OK, I'm fine now. It's back there, we're safe.
Gee, thanks.

NO, walking. Remember, taking it easy
I love this trail!
I know, either way is home.
I'm going home!
No we're not.
Turn this way.
Turn this way.

Who's that? 
Looks like a mom and daughter running.
I should chase them!
That could be scary for them. Let's keep it slow.
But she is running. She is a pony!
No, but she has a beautiful pony tail. I think it is nicer than yours. Let's just pass them nicely.
The little girl just said I was sooo pretty.
Yes, you are.
I should prance along. 
No, let's just behave.
Knock it off.

SNORT! What's that!
A man, running up the hill.
Naked Sasquatch! I know it! 
No, it's not!
Arghh, could be scary.
It's not, let's catch up.
OK. Chasing is awesome.
Catching up, not chasing.

No, still a half-naked runner, behind a tree, with a large dog hiding behind him.
Yeah, that's what I meant. Very suspicious.
Just move past him.
OK, let's go, what are we waiting for?
You to stop being an idiot?

Boat and umbrella in the tiny distance. Very suspicious.

What's that! 
It's so far away dude! A boat onshore with umbrellas. You've seen it before.
You are ridiculous after not enough riding.

hot, dry trail

Look, geese! Must run them down!
Hold on buddy, they're in the muddy section, don't want to fall in.
Must chase geese!
Stop pulling on me. Stop it. Just stand here.
But the geese are over there. In the water.
Yes, we can wait and be careful. The mud is like quicksand.

Now can I go in the water?
Yes, but over here is safer.
Dude, slow down, we can't go too deep.
I'm in the water, in the water. Look, a stick. Look, grass underwater. Look, I can blow bubbles.
Dude, you're so silly.
I LOVE the water! I can put my whole head under!
Good job.
But it is more fun to blow my water snot on someone else.
I know, it is often me.
Yeah, right.

I love the lake!

How long can we stay?
This water is awesome.
I know, but it's almost time to head home buddy.
But, I don't have play water at home.
No, but there is dinner.
Right now?
No, but pretty soon.
Then we can wait. And I can play.
You're right, we can. Take some time. Thanks for the perspective. Horse time is different.
Horse time is the best time.
Yes, it is.

viewing the shrinking lake

many years I'd be standing in deep water right here
rattlesnake point, a blind corner heading home


  1. So very dry there. Hope you get some sustained rain soon.

    I think Major and Ashke need to be kept very far apart, since I'm pretty sure they would be twinkies if we were to ride together. That much cuteness may make the world explode.

    1. Major and Aske would be double trouble!

      No rain here until at least October. That's how it goes in California...

  2. OMG I *love* Major. So glad he's back. Totally worth the missed rides and everything to have it feeling good and talking with us again. Your post made me LOL several times which is the best kind of post. Tell Major I can't see the shining either because I'd be so freaked out I would never ride at dark and live in paralyzed fear the rest of my life.

  3. Heeee's back! Love it :)

    NAKED SASQUATCH!!! Bahahaha