Monday, November 19, 2012

Dear horse thief

To whom it may concern (horse thief!),

I would like to request that you return my horse ASAP. Sure his cute face is deceptively similar, but I noticed the changes.

Do not be deceived, the original version is missing!

I did not notice at first, as we walked through the muddy forest. We were going to keep it quiet, a nice barefoot ride on newly-soft trails. We picked up a trot without any crabby ears, and he listened nicely to slow through the puddles and slick muck.

first puddles of the year

on our way to losing his mind

Out at the lake, this "new" Major was apparent: this horse only comes with three gaits: jig, manic extended trot, and runaway canter.

Luckily he also came with a stop. Notice I did not say a "whoa." But he could be dragged to a stop eventually. I took some photos of the lake for evidence. See the pricked, excited ears? This is not the crabby, supposedly tired from a season of training horse I had two weeks ago. This is not even the horse I had last week on a nice lake ride with friends. Some dark evening you came and replaced that horse with the "new" Major.

threatening skies, low lake, excited ears
"my" rock high and dry
see all the rocks? no wonder there is Granite Bay and Rocklin towns nearby
canal puddle muck, this poor horse had to walk right through the middle after stupidly trying to walk on the side

At this point I was pretty suspicious, but the next part of the trail confirmed it. We left the canal trail to take the upper trail home. This crazy beast continued the manic 14-mph trotting, through my entreaties to "easy," "slow" and "whoa, dammit."

here there were trees to "slow" our flight. Excited horse didn't even want to eat grass!

If you were testing my resolve to one-rein-stop on slippery singletrack and muddy dropoffs, don't worry, I always maintain that ability. This Major did too, little good it did. Over and over. And again. Repeat. Oh boy.

I thought we'd continue on, to at least wear this new horse out a bit, and continued towards Rattlesnake Bar. I thought the craziness would dissapate, because this new horse still obviously knows where home is, but he wanted to just keep going! It however did not seem prudent, as this trail was way too slick for antics.

This trail seems to lead to the Hobbit Shire...tucked among the rocks I suspect.

Turning for home it was totally obvious that my horse was switched. Even on a trail my original Major knew, this horse was doing the little jumping spooky my Major used to do, long ago. And jigging. When asked to maintain a simple trot, I only got freight-train pulling. So we jigged home.

I do thank you for at least leaving a semblance of brains, so when we started down the muddy embankment and started sliding this Msjor kept his footing and did not worry at all as we slid about 10 feet. He also clambered over the newly-fallen tree blocking the access road/route home.

On the road home we can often walk quietly. This horse had to prance, so I walked alongside, trying to keep up. At home he tried to roll in the arena with his saddle still on, and once untacked pretended to be the original Major, by going right back to his leftover breakfast, and asking for carrots.

Now, I know some of this may be my fault: I joked with another rider the other day, saying we could mix her horse's excitability with Major's calm attitude. Maybe you're not a thief, maybe this is some sort of "Freaky Friday" (the original, not the dumb new one) or "Big" and magical powers were involved.

Either way, I'd like my original horse back. Any one of these too-early dark evenings would be fine. Sooner than later would be best, this Major was exhausting. This Major will require some arena work, which I have very little time for, and remedial walking behavior lessons. At your earliest convenience, I'll leave the gate unlocked.

Thank you.


  1. LOL, he got the fall bug. That seems to happen to them sometime after the weather gets nice and crisp and they just can't contain their excitement at everything anymore. Rose did a swap for the old Rose sometime last month and while I've gotten rid of the spooky flight risk horse of last month somehow I still have a bitchy mean mare who is in need of a serious attitude adjustment. This is how Rose used to be two years ago and I'm wondering what happened to my sweet semi-steady pony. Tell me where to find these horse thief/brain swappers whenever you figure out how to find the old Major as I'm tired of the 'new' Rose and would really like my Rose back.

    1. So glad I am not alone! But sorry that Rose is being a snot. It is hard to remember that I think I deal with this every fall and spring, but the sweet, well-trained horse in between lulls me into complacency. Hope you find your missing horse too!

  2. I clicked this blog title with bated breath! I thought "Oh no, Major has been horse-napped!" Started reading. Oh okay, phew, never mind. LOL

    1. Sorry to make you worry! Believe me, I don't think anyone would want the horse I rode the other day! 8-)