conversations with major: good boy

Let's go.
blank stare.
Come on.
But it is SO close to dinner! I can hear the dinner truck. 
Yeah, I've been trapped in my office all day, so too bad, let's go.
Ok, fine.

Keep walking.
Grass.
Keep walking.
More grass.
Move it!
You don't have to be so mean, I AM starving you know.
Stop pouting.

Let's walk this way, up the hill.
Home is that way.
I know, but we're going up the hill.
Longing look.
You're not fooling anyone, we're just going to circle around.
Fine. Trudge, trudge, trudge.

Now down the hill.
Prance, prance.
Um, excuse me? Stay back.
Prance prance.
Back it up!
Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot.
OK.
Prance prance.
Stop it.
But I'm back here, not in your space!
We're just walking down the hill.
YOU were, I was dancing, 
sigh...

Look, creatures, let's watch them.
I see, the deer family is pretty hidden.
Look at them look at me.
Is this a staring contest?
What? Huh?
Nevermind. Now let's go back this way.
I'd rather go this way.
Really? Ok, fine.
What, I win? 
Sure, that is the long way home.
But there is grass over here. 
OK, have a snack.

Now we're done, heading home. Let's practice tailing up this hill.
I'm in charge!
Just walk.
This is awesome!
Ok, turn here. Now we can try a slow trot.
Huh, what? What are you asking? Oh, trot! Now I get it! Weee!
Easy, good boy, slow trot.
I'm winning!
Ok, that's enough.
But we just got started.
Yeah, but I'm outta shape for running.
That wasn't running!
It was for me, I can't go much faster.
2 slow legs, I'm sorry.
It's ok, that's why I have you.

Ok, enough practice. It's getting dark, this trail is narrow, I should lead.
I can see, I know the way home.
I know, but I'm in charge again.
Fine, as long as we go home soon.
We can still jog home though.

THUD!
Is this a new trick?
Ughhhh…
Why are you down there?
Owww…
How long do I have to stand here? It's almost dinner.
Ugh. Ok, I can get up now.
Can we go now?
Just wait.
I've been waiting
Yeah, we'll I'm covered in mud, it wasn't on purpose!
You fell? I thought it was a new test! Oh, falling is not good.
Yeah, I know. But you're a good boy and didn't step on me.
I would be in SO much trouble!
You would, but you're good. Lets go home and get you dinner.
I'm a good boy.
Yes, you are.
Thanks for taking care of me.
Ditto.