conversations with major: up and down

Let’s go!
But it’s breakfast,
I’ll get your breakfast in the hitching area.
Ok, fine. Mmmm, breakfast.
You look super classy Major.
I know.

Have you even moved your head the entire time I’ve been tacking you up?
What? My mouf is full I can't hear you.
I don't think that's how it works. Again, keeping it classy dude.

Let’s go, let’s go.
Oh, you’re in a good mood, huh?
Can we go fast like last time but not over the bridge of death?
No, we’re not going that way. Plus, you were brave over the Mormon Ravine bridge last time, even with the rushing water. Today we’re just going to work some hills.
Then go fast?
No, just hills, here’s our first little one, let’s go.
TROT!
Nope, we’re walking hills today.
But, but…that’s hard.
Exactly.

See, not so bad, into the forest.
I think we should turn here.
That is home.
Duh, I know. Turn here.
No, we just started.

 Up Beginner’s Hill.
You wouldn’t call it Beginner’s Hill if you were climbing it!
I’ve hiked this with you, it’s hard, so keep on trucking.
Truck, where’s a truck?!
Just walk. No, walk.
This is sooo hard at the top.
OK, now trot, it’s the flat part.
Weeee!

Ok, this is a little hill, but you can trot since it isn’t very steep,
Weee, must canter!
No, trot!
Fine, woah, big branch!
Yes, we dodged that one! Easy now, walk down here.

This doesn’t go anywhere.
Yes it does, Three Oak Knoll.
But no where else.
You’ll see.

Now let’s walk back up.
Sooo far up the hill, this is so hard!
Yes, but good job, now one more time.
Whaattt? Again?.
Yes, we're practicing.
Fine. Walking down, walking down.
Ok, turn around and...
RUN!
No, walk.
RUN!
Ok, fine, canter. Not a good plan, but try it.

Look, we made it to the top so much faster!
Yup, now back down again.
What? You said one more time!
That was before you decided to go all sassy on me. We’re walking hills today, remember.
No.
Too bad, one more time, really, IF you walk.
Fine.

See, that wasn’t so bad.
I think I need a drink.
Here is a disgusting puddle.
Mmm, delicious.
Your ID tag is jangling around and driving me crazy. Let me tie this leftover ride ribbon to it, just stand here.
But my feet are wet and there is nothing to eat in this vast wasteland.
You're fine. Just stand still. Oh yeah, we’re classy Major.
I know.

All we do, down and up, up and down.
I know, but it’s good practice, wait here at the bottom.
We have to go up that!  I can’t, too hard, just too hard.
You can! Woohoo, at the top, good job buddy. Now we can trot.
Yeah, trot!
Aren’t you more tired that that crazy man trot?
Nope, let’s go home!
Not yet, contain yourself.

This is dumb.
What?
Working. Back, trot, sidepass, turn around, walk, back.
Well if you’d listen we could skip this stuff. We're getting closer to home.
I know, I'm thinking about dancing!
No dancing, just listen.
Really, up and down, no fun at all.
Really? Then I guess we can just stand here and admire the new green plants.
Ok, I guess this is fun enough, let's go.

One more thing to do,
No, I hate it.
Yes, just stand here.
There could be clowns in there.
There aren’t clowns.
I hate the manhole cover.
It’s not scary.
I know. But I have to stand here and be good. That is hard.
I know. Now both feet. Good boy! Here is a carrot piece.
More?
More what, manhole cover?
More carrot!
Maybe later.

OK, here is your treat, lots of yummy grass,
Mmmm, thanks, so itchy, so sweaty, I should roll.
No you don’t! Not with your saddle on, just wait 10 minutes till we’re home.
Then more carrots?
Then more carrots. And a little bath, you’re sweaty and dirty.
And I’m classy.
You’re classy Major.