Thursday, October 24, 2013

conversations with major: spooky

mmm, but also fun to knock the wheelbarrow over and scare other silly horses...

Let's go!
To the apple place? I love the apple place. There are apples on the ground, and you let me eat them and…
Quiet. No, into the forest.
But I don't have breakfast yet. See, they are bringing it. I see the truck. Look, breakfast!
Quiet! I'll give you breakfast, then we'll go for a ride.
I thought I was retired.
It hasn't been THAT long.
I forget.
I know. So I hope you'll be good.

weird stalky dead plants, not spooky

Oh boy, let's go!
No, we don't need to run all over.
But we could.
We're not.
Now I remember, sometimes you're no fun.
Seriously? Do you ever want to go the apple place again?
Look, a trail! Let's go there!
Good boy.

Watch out for the plastic bag.
The bag, don't step on it.
I didn't even notice. Plus, I don't care.
I know, it's habit, some horses are scared.
Of a bag?
When they blow in the wind especially.
Well, then they're ghosts. That might be spooky.
Don't even think about it.

What's that!
Weird tree!
A cut tree?
It's different than last time!
Let's go.
I'd better keep and eye on it as we go by.
Sure, brave warrior, give it the stink eye, always works on trees.
It wasn't scary.
I know, I told you that.
Yes, but you are wrong sometimes.
Excuse me?

Enchanted forest not so enchanted right now, it's so dry.
We should go home.
Um, no, it's been 15 minutes.
But this is work.
Not HARD work, you can deal.

Where's the lake? Where did it go?
It's way over there, super low this year.
I can RUN in all the sand!
No, we can trot.
No, trot!
Canter! Going home!
We're no where near home, now TROT!
Fine, if you put it that way.

Let's go there, down to the lake!
No, I know it is fun, but we have to stay away, there is scary quicksand on the edges.
It is quick? I am fast.
No, you're not this fast, it sucks you up.
That sounds spooky.
Yeah, it is.

OK, take it easy crazy man, we're going around the corner.
It is not spooky.
Yeah, until you come around and there are horses there and it scares everyone.
Nope, not me.
Oh really? I seem to remember a spectacular spin and dump move you made with me a few years ago.
Hmmm, nope, not me. Mmm, dry thistles! Pretty good.
You're weird.

Going home, going home, this is my going home dance.
Knock it off.
Walk, prance, walk. Argghh, can't walk there, spooky!
The manhole? The weed? The sign?
That! I'm just gonna walk off the trail over here.
Stand here anyway. Hah, now it looks like it's growing out of your head! Now walk by.
Hmmm, not scary.
I know. Watch out, another manhole.
Those aren't spooky.

New tree fell down across the trail.
Tree down, I'm going to have to duck.
Hmmm, didn't even notice.

Hmm, someone TPed the road home. That could be interesting.
There's white toilet paper across the road, and hanging from trees.
Don't care.
I don't know what you're talking about. Let's find grass.
No, let's go home.
Almost home, almost home, wait, what?
If you're going to pull going home, I'm going to tail you up the road.
OK, works for me!

OK, you're clean and ready to be put away, I'll take you back and you can eat a little grass on the way.
Who's is this horse trailer?
It's a visiting barn friend.
Can I get in?
No you do not need to get in! Get out! That is not ours! Guess we'd better trailer somewhere soon.

What's in this bucket. I want it.
It's not yours.
But it's orange! And smells good!
No, leave it alone.
Maybe I can open it wif my mouf…
No silly, let's go.

DO NOT even think about running me over. What is the deal?
What? Oh, the sprinkler? Seriously?!
I got wet, oh my! Wet!
Last week you were standing in your pasture sprinkler.
Totally different.
I will never understand you.
Trick or treat? 


  1. I love your conversations.

    Dixie is also eating the dead thistles, and I'm also giving her the "you are so weird" side-eye when she does it.

    1. thanks! The thistle thing is weird. He doesn't even try when they are fresh. I did once ride a horse that would veer off the trail anytime she saw a purple thistle and very carefully gobble it up Yeah, they're weird.

  2. What a goofball he is. So similar to Q with his "things I can care less about" and "things I'm terrified of" moments. Horses. Goodness grief.

  3. Hahah, too funny as usual. Glad you got out there on your boy

  4. Hysterical! This reminded me of my own mare, too!