conversations with major: inconceivable!

There is a problem.
Yes, I see that.
I am trapped under my shelter.
You are not trapped.
It is wet!
I know. This is a weird rain storm in June. Let's go for a walk.
Wet! June! Inconceivable!
Where did you learn that word?
We were watching movies.
What?
There is a lot that goes on that you people don't know.
Oh, really? Well, we are still going for a walk.
And get wet? No.
Yes. We go through this every time. And every time you survive.
There is a first time for everything.

Mmmm, moss.
See, this isn't so bad.
Not yet. Mmmm, berries.
See, getting better?
I'm not sure yet.

Oh my! What is that! It jumped!
It's a squirrel. It was just on the ground, it wasn't scary. You SAW it jump into the tree.
It had fangs, rodents of unusual size!
No.
Maybe?

Let's eat this, it looks tasty.

I do not think that word means what you think it means. You do not know how to choose.
Oh really?
Yes, this stuff, right here to the left a little bit, is much better.
It is the same crabgrass.
It is different. One foot over there, yuck! This, delicious.

Let's head back now, there will be more time tomorrow.
Oh yeah, let's go!
What happened to just slogging along?
I was resting.
Well, now you'll pulling, knock it off.
I wasn't doing anything.
Um, yes, you were. Another discussion we have previously had.
I am unaware of that.
Well, think on it, and I'll see you tomorrow.
You will leave me here, trapped under my shelter?
See you tomorrow, if you survive.

Hey, you survived! Lets go for another walk.
I don't want to go far, I just want to eat.
You're just stalling now. So we'll go for a longer walk.
I am skeptical.
Yeah, but I have the lead rope.
OK.

Now this way.
That is the poison-oak trail.
Towards home. It goes home.
You are fine. We've been out here for 5 minutes.

There is something in the bushes.
What? Where? I don't see anything.
I could have sworn I saw something! No matter. We should go home now.
No, you're just being silly.
Not me!

You get to lead, but be good.
I'm in charge, I'm in charge!
No prancing, I can't keep up!
Fine. What's that!
OK, also no abrupt stoping.
Don't go fast, don't stop, geee!
Knock it off or we will stay out here in the forest.
OK, behaving!

I see rain.
Just clouds for now.
We might get wet again.
I don't think so this time.
You don't THINK so?
We'll make it home.
For dinner!
Yes, for dinner.

I see something!
It is far away, let's go.
But what's there?!
A lady walking in the pasture.
Oh, who cares.
Yes, I already said that.

Now we're back.
But there is a rpoblem.
What's that?
My special bowl is empty.
It had some carrot pieces.
Not enough, they're gone.
I guess you have to wait till our next walk, maybe it won't rain.
I have built up an immunity to the rain.
Oh good. 
Until next rain.
As you wish.