conversation with Major: home

Ride time!
It's been a while.
I know, I'm busy at work and you were a little hurt.
My leg was broken.
No, you had a scrape and it was swollen, and I couldn't quite see if you were OK, so you got to rest. But it all looks good now.
I think it is still broken, and I should just eat grass on a walk.
You eat grass all day in your pasture.
It's not GOOD grass, it is OLD grass I have walked on.
We'll find you some good grass on the ride, how about that.
OK, you promised.

No, I'd rather not go there.
Is something out there?
No, I mean, yes. Monsters.
Um, no, I think you're being silly.
I'm not silly, you are silly who does not think there are monsters in the woods. At home there are not monsters.
We're still going to the lookout, it has been awhile.

Look, look, deer!
I see her, she is standing right there, you're fine.
Oh, I'm fine. Yeah, I knew that. I'm not afraid of deer.
I know, you're brave, let's keep going.
I think we should turn for home now, I'm traumatized.
Just pick up your feet and trot.
So much work, going away from home.

Oh, I like this sandy trail, TROT!
Seriously, the one time you need to walk, there are too many stabby branches. WHACK! Good thing I have a helmet on Major, slow down.
I don't have a helmet, maybe I need a helmet, my head is nice and pretty.
You don't need a helmet. You can duck and I'm way up here.
Fine, I will walk, but this is a fun canter hill.
Just wait, and we'll go soon.
Wheeee!
See, now we're at the top and we can rest. My shadow reminds me of Don Quixote.
What? Donkeys? Where?
No, my parents had a Don Quixote statue that was tall and skinny and looked like that, and kind-of freaked me out as a kid.
Should I freak out at the shadow-man?
No, you're fine, just stand.

You know, that is the way home.
I know.
That way.
Yes, I know.
I am looking towards home.
I know, good trail horse.
We could leave now.
We're fine. Just wait.
Now?
10 seconds later does not count as later. Just stand.
Fine. Standing. Waiting, mmm, dead grass.
You do not need to eat that.
You promised you'd get me a snack.
There isn't any good grass here, on the road home there is good stuff.
Home?
Yes, we can go now.

Oh, fun, let's go, trot trot, TROT!
Keep it reasonable dude, this is just a short easy ride, for relaxing, not working.
But we're going home now!
I know.
HOME.
Yes.
I do not think you understand.

See, yummy grass.
Not so sure.
You wanted green grass.
Maybe I don't like this.
Then let's walk on, we'll get you dinner at home.
OH, THIS grass. THIS grass is delicious. You should have said so. Let's just stay here.
We have to get home, and clean you up, and dinner is soon.
Home? No, I'm good, we can just stay here.

Seriously?
Yes Major. You can wear it.
I don't want to, I look silly.
I know, that's the best part.